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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23432617">Memories of the Past</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liza_Taylor/pseuds/Liza_Taylor'>Liza_Taylor</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Code Vein (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Dwellers in the Dark Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Flustered Yakumo, Post-Canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:01:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,731</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23432617</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liza_Taylor/pseuds/Liza_Taylor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Now that there is peace in Vein, Kamala could finally focus on another important matter at hand, the fact that she has no memories before Operation Queenslayer. </p><p>Female ProtagonistXYakumo.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eva Roux/Jack Rutherford, Protagonist/Yakumo Shinonome</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Now that the DLC is all out, I can finally focus on writing some backstory for my player character. I've had this planned out for a bit but decided to wait on it so I wouldn't need to retcon.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>                Kamala sighed and pushed a few strands of hair out of her face and rested the tip of her short sword on the ground and regarded the area that was now clear of the Lost.</p><p>                “Good work today.” Yakumo walked over to her, his sword resting on his shoulder, a grin on his face. She couldn’t help but mirror his expression.</p><p>                Despite it being a month since Io had turned into the Weeping Tree, the miasma gone from Vein, Kamala was still not used to being able to see Yakumo’s, or the rest of her friends’ faces all the time when they were not at the base. Of course, even with there now being an apparently unlimited supply of blood beads thanks to Io, there were still Lost roaming around that needed to be dispatched and people that needed to be helped. It was a huge adjustment process for everyone and based on what Kamala was able to gleam from Davis and Emily, the government was in a state of upheaval itself.</p><p>                “Hey now, what are you thinking about?” Yakumo reached over and put an arm around her shoulders, drawing her closer to him.</p><p>                She leaned her head against his chest without thinking. She didn’t know how to categorize their relationship anymore. Before stopping Mido’s plans she would have definitely categorized them as friends with perhaps a hint to something more. They had given each other looks and Kamala knew she was drawn towards his loyal and protective personality. Of course it could be nothing more, especially since she had accepted the fact that she would need to take on Silva’s relic and sit on the throne. However it never came to that, Io taking them all on instead.</p><p>                 Since then, it’s definitely been <em>different</em> between them. They never had a conversation about it out loud but she had noticed how he would touch her more, a pat on the back, side hugging her, like right now and sometimes he would hold her hand and lead her to something he wanted to show her or to shove a riceball in her hand to eat. In return she did the same, sometimes hugging him from behind when he was sitting on the couch or holding his hand when they were sitting at the bar.</p><p>                She could tell everyone else was getting antsy about all of the tiptoeing they were doing around each other, especially since Jack and Eva were very, very open about their relationship and so were Aurora and Karen. Kamala had caught Mia rolling her eyes a few times and Louis shaking his head. It wasn’t like this was an easy conversation to bring up! From what Yakumo had been able to tell her of his past, he had not dated before, there was no time to think of things like that since he had been under Mido’s thumb.</p><p>                And as for her, well, who knew what her past held? Sure she had a few memories all her vestige showed her were the events leading up her killing the Queen. Nothing about the person she was before that. She wondered if her own vestiages were somewhere in Vein, although since she was no longer the Successor of the Blood, would she even be able to pick it up and see the memories in it?</p><p>                “You ready to head back?”</p><p>                Kamala looked up as Yakumo released her and stepped back. “I mean if you want to,” he stammered, a slight blush overtaking his cheeks. “Or we could spend more time out here. Although I think Louis has a few other things for us to do and you know how he gets if we keep him waiting for too long.”</p><p>                She could not help but giggle at his floundering. “Let’s head back. What?” she asked, noticing he was staring at her with a gentle smile.</p><p>                He blinked, seemingly startled. “Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about how nice it is to see you laugh and smile like that.”</p><p>                She looked at him in disbelief. “I’ve laughed and smiled before!”</p><p>                “True, but it’s different.”</p><p>                “Different?” She had to increase her pace to keep up with him. She noticed he tended to walk faster when he felt embarrassed.</p><p>                He rubbed the back of his head. “Well, it’s like, before all of this, you were carrying a huge burden on your shoulders. The whole Successor thing I mean. Now it’s like all that weight is gone and you’re more open to being yourself.”</p><p>                “Being myself huh?” she repeated softly. She touched the red and gold headphones that rested on her collarbone, around her neck. They had always been with her, ever since she woke up the first time in Io’s lap and she always had the sense the headphones were important to her but didn’t know why. A few times she even tried throwing them away but at the last second she couldn’t. Something about these headphones was related to her past and there was probably no way for her to ever know that. Was the person she was before the same or different as the person she was now?</p><p>                “Here it is!” Yakumo stopped in front of the mistle and rolled his neck. He looked back at her and frowned. “You okay?”</p><p>                “Fine.” She pulled her hand away from the headphones and gave him another smile. “Just thinking like I always do, that’s all. Like you said, let’s head back before Louis gets annoyed.”</p><p>***</p><p>                There was definitely something going on with Kamala.</p><p>                Yakumo sat on the couch, pretending to read a magazine but he was stealing glances over at Kamala who was currently leaning on Murasume’s counter, talking to the girl while she fixed Kamala’s sword.</p><p>                “You know, if you’re worried about something, the best way to relieve those worries is to bring it up with the person.” Louis sat down next to Yakumo. “You’re also holding the magazine upside down.”</p><p>                Yakumo quickly set the magazine the right way. “I’m not worried.”</p><p>                “Really now? Because it looks like you’ve been watching her carefully since yesterday. Even Jack asked about it when he was here earlier.”</p><p>                “He did?” Yakumo winced. If even Jack noticed, then did Kamala realize it was well?</p><p>                “What’s going on? I’m always here to lend an ear if needed.”</p><p>                “I know Louis but…” Yakumo glanced to the ring Louis always wore. He was able to gleam some details of how Louis’s relationship was to Cruz but Yakumo didn’t know how far they had gotten. However Louis was much easier to talk to about this kind of stuff than Jack or Eva and he didn’t know Karen or Aurora well enough to even dream about asking them. Well, and they were currently doing something or other with Silvia in the government center so they hadn’t been here and wouldn’t be here for a while anyway.</p><p>                “Well, we were doing that clean up mission you assigned to us yesterday.”</p><p>                Louis’s eyes widen. “Did something happen?”</p><p>                “No? Yes? Maybe. Personally I’m not sure. The mission went fine and we were heading back and talking and such. I thought it was going well but when we got to the mistle I noticed she seemed off. Like she wasn’t as happy as she was before? She was fiddling with her headphones and well, I’ve noticed she always does that when she’s thinking or feeling upset…” He flushed slightly as he realized how that must sound. He had to be watching her so closely to even notice something like that.</p><p>                Louis leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “Well, what were you talking about?”</p><p>                “Just small talk. Oh, I was complimenting her on her smile. She looked so carefree and happy and I think I said something along the lines of how happy I am that she’s able to be herself now. You know, because the whole Successor thing is over and she doesn’t have to bear that burden anymore. Why do you have your thinking face on Louis?”</p><p>                “Hmm? Oh, because I was thinking about this logically.” Louis glanced over at Kamala thoughtfully. “It might be all conjecture but perhaps it was that comment that made her upset?”</p><p>                “Wait what? How? Why?” Yakumo played over what he said in his head. There was nothing wrong with it right?</p><p>                “It is probably best for you to talk about it with her. Bring it up, I’m sure she will discuss it with you.”</p><p>                “You say that like it’s easy,” murmured Yakumo. Fighting Lost sounded way more appealing than trying to stumble through a conversation like this.</p><p>                “Well I think it will be if you ask her directly. She’s a very direct person after all.” Louis gestured to the map on the board behind them. “I’ll even help you out. Karen sent me a report that a new spring was spotted growing in the Ridge of Frozen Souls. Why don’t you and her go up there and get some blood beads for us? She wants a couple for research.”</p><p>***</p><p>                Ask her directly? How in the world was Yakumo supposed to bring up a conversation like this? Like always he walked a few steps behind her. Kamala’s sense of direction was amazing to the point that if she had been somewhere once she could easily navigate an area once they came there again. The  only place she seemed to have trouble was the Cathedral but Yakumo could not blame her for that. That place was a nightmare.</p><p>                He rubbed the back of his neck as they trudged through the snow. Thankfully as revenants they didn’t feel the cold. Otherwise he might have been a little worried about Kamala running around in a short skirt and a t-shirt. Her blood veil being a thorn type meant it wasn’t much help in terms of keeping out the elements either.</p><p>                He sighed and looked away, realizing he was staring a little too much at her bare thighs. That was another thing he was noticing a lot more recently. Her body. What was he supposed to do with these kinds of thoughts? It was way out of his element, his childhood was filled with trying to survive at the orphanage and then trying to survive under Mido’s hands and then after that, surviving the army. And well, it was the life of a revenant after that. There never really was time to have thoughts…like this.</p><p>                Wait, were they already together? Dating? In a relationship? Whatever it was called? He had noticed they were more physical with each other, touching and the like and they would share looks on the regular and he had the thought more than once to grab her by the shoulders and kiss her…</p><p>                “There it is!”</p><p>                Yakumo snapped to attention and saw the stony path open up to a cliff ledge. The blood bead tree grew out of the snow, the white tree a beautiful contrast against the pure blue sky.</p><p>                “I think we lucked out, there’s at least ten blood beads on this one.” Kamala walked up to it and began picking the beads on the lower branches and putting it in a bag. Yakumo came up behind her and began picking the ones on the higher branches.</p><p>                “You think we should leave a couple?”</p><p>                “Oh, good idea. Although would anyone come up here?” Kamala look out, over the cliffside, towards where the Crypt of the Breath was.</p><p>                “Well the Lost are around so I bet a few revenants have made it this far as well.”</p><p>                “True. Well, you think four will be enough for Karen and Aurora?”</p><p>                He shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s your call.”</p><p>                “I think four will be fine and we can get a couple for our stores. Maybe five? That sounds good.” Kamala nodded. “Yeah, let’s go with that.” She filled up the bag with the blood beads and tied it to her waist. “You ready to head back?”</p><p>                Yakumo took a deep breath. It was now or never. “You mind if we chat a bit before we head back?”</p><p>                “Chat?” She tilted her head slightly.</p><p>                “You’ve been off since yesterday, after we talked while in the city. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Did I say something to upset you? If so, I’m sorry about that.” He looked around and thankfully there was no Lost wandering nearby and from their vantage point, they would see any Lost that tried to sneak up on them.</p><p>                “No, it wasn’t you…” Kamala touched her headphones. “I was just thinking of things in general.”</p><p>                “Thinking of things?” He leaned against the tree.</p><p>                She kneeled and ran some snow in between her fingers. “It was a while ago but remember the conversation we had down in Howling Pit? You brought up how important your memories of being human were and how it separated us from the Lost.”</p><p>                Yakumo had to really think back to remember it. Wow, it felt like that conversation had happened so long ago. Back when Kamala could barely be considered a friend and they knew nothing of the Successors. “How is that related to our conversation from yesterday?”</p><p>                Kamala touched her headphones again. “It just got me thinking. I don’t have any memories of my time before being a revenant.”</p><p>                Yakumo wasn’t a smart guy and he knew that but even he could understand the implication behind those words all so long ago. He quickly stood upright. “I didn’t-I didn’t mean to make it sound like that. That wasn’t my intention at all. You’re nothing like the Lost, Kamala.”</p><p>                She cracked a small smile. “I know that wasn’t what you meant. But I really don’t have anything. With everything that’s been going on I never really had a chance to focus on it. But it’s true isn’t it? I don’t have any context for the person I was before. Is that person like how I am now or was I someone completely different? And these headphones, I know they are important to me and I don’t know why. And since I’m no longer the Successor of the Blood, even if I ever find a vestige, can I risk even attempt to pick it up to find out the truth without having it overwhelm me?”</p><p>                “That’s…” Yakumo looked away, not sure of what he could say, if anything. Well, he was never good at talking stuff anyway, that was more Louis’s thing. So he did the one thing he was good at. He walked over, kneeled next to her and put his arms around her, drawing her to his chest.</p><p>                “Yakumo!?” she stammered. Her hands rested against his chest and for a moment he could feel her push against him but he held on tight and rested his chin on her head.</p><p>                “You’re you no matter what,” he said softly. “And I doubt the person you were before would be any different than the person you are now. Heck, you jumped in to help us out with your power even before you really knew us. That had to be because of your personality…and stuff.” Damn, he was not doing well with this pep talk was he?</p><p>                “Anyway,” he stammered. “What I’m trying to say that you’re as much of a revenant as the rest of us. But if you want to look for your vestiages, I don’t mind helping you out with that. I mean, we’re not sure if you can pick them up but we can move them to a central location at least?”</p><p>                “True,” she murmured. “And Aurora is testing my blood to see what properties it has. Who knows…maybe the ability to touch vestiages was me all along.”</p><p>                “Now you’re thinking.” Yakumo relaxed his grip and leaned back so he could look her in the eye. He always found her eyes to be pretty. One a light lavender, the other a cool gray. Hang on, had he ever seen them from this close before?</p><p>                Maybe it was the BOR parasite moving around his heart, but he was starting to become hyperaware of the thumping against his ribcage, the blood roaring in his ears. He gulped as he leaned towards her face-</p><p>                -And chose to kiss her forehead at the last second.</p><p>                She opened her eyes in surprise.</p><p>                “S…Sorry,” he stammered. He went to move away but she roughly grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him towards her, her kissing him with a ferocity that he was not expecting at all.</p><p>                When they pulled away, Yakumo had a hand over his mouth, his face bright red. “Kamala…”</p><p>                She looked down at the snow, her own face taking on a slight hint of red. “We…we were tiptoeing around the obvious for so long. I just thought maybe…”</p><p>                “It’s fine!” he said quickly. “Just…wasn’t really ready for that. Not like I’m complaining, I enjoyed it a lot but it was surprising. In a good way.” He sighed. “I’m just going to be quiet now.”</p><p>                She giggled and stood. “We should probably head back before Louis sends a search party. Here.” She held out her hand and Yakumo took it and got to his feet.</p><p>                “True.” Yakumo rolled his eyes. He did not let go of Kamala’s hand. “I wasn’t kidding about what I said before by the way. Let’s go look for your vestiages together.”</p><p>                “Sounds good to me,” she said softly before grinning. “Or is this your way of asking for dates?”</p><p>                “That too probably. I mean it’s not like I know much dating etiquette anyway.”</p><p>                Kamala’s eyes widen. “Wait, then was that your first kiss?”</p><p>                “I think so? I mean some of my memories are a bit foggy but yeah, I don’t think I was ever in a relationship.” He grinned. “I mean, that was one hell of a first kiss, that was for sure. It was like you totally knew what you were doing, have you kissed anyone before?”</p><p>                As soon as those words left his mouth, he wanted to kick himself. Of course she wouldn’t have the answer to that!</p><p>                She fidgeted with her headphones, her expression slightly worried. “I don’t know. Maybe. But perhaps we’ll find out when we find my vestiges. Anyway, we really should head back now cause Louis will definitely send a search party.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Promising to find Kamala’s vestiges was one thing. Finding them was a whole other. Yakumo felt like he had walked half of Vein with no vestiges in sight. They looked around the provisional government, since Kamala remembered dying around there before while fighting the Queen but found nothing to show for it. They combed the areas they had been before, carving through all the Lost in their path but nothing. It got to the point they roped in the others and the search radius had increased tenfold but still nothing to show for it.</p><p>                Today Yakumo and Kamala decided to try another area of the city, this one not explored during their previous encounters. This was an area frequented by other revenants but thankfully, due to the increased supply of blood beads, conflict would most likely not happen. Not like any group of revenants would be able to keep him contained. And Kamala, well, they may have captured her before but she had been weak from bloodlust and she didn’t have a weapon. The girl he knew would have wrecked shop to avoid getting captured.</p><p>                “What?”</p><p>                Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he focused on the girl in question, realizing that he was probably staring at her with a dorky grin on his face. He coughed and looked left and right. “I don’t see any Lost around. This is definitely an area with a lot of revenants living in it.” Probably underground or perhaps in the tall buildings? There had to be a few usable rooms in there.</p><p>                “Maybe.” Kamala scratched the back of her head and sighed. “Maybe we should finally give up on finding my vestiges.”</p><p>                “You? Give up?” He stared at her in disbelief.</p><p>                “What’s with that look?” She ran her fingers along her headphones.</p><p>                “But you never give up. Even when all hope is gone or we’re fighting a difficult Lost, you are always looking forward and never giving up. Vein’s a big place and there’s so many places where your memories could be. And Jack is going to see if Silva can get some people to help us out with it too.”</p><p>                “Wait really?” Her eyes widen and then turned to confusion. “Hang on, why do you know that?”</p><p>                “Well, Jack told me when he was visiting yesterday. You were in the hot springs at that point.”</p><p>                “Oh yeah, I was in there for a while. Mia and Coco wanted to chat.” She shook her head. “You are all doing so much for me,” she said softly.</p><p>                “Well you’re Kamala after all. Sure Io was the one who fixed everything in the end but you’re the reason we were able to get so far.” He paused, sensing someone  nearby. “Whose there!?” He whirled around, his sword at the ready.</p><p>                A boy, probably a year or two older than Kamala stepped out from behind a dilapidated building. His frame was thin and lithe, obviously not a fighter despite being a revenant. Dark blue hair crested his shoulders, his eyes a shocking green.</p><p>                Yakumo relaxed and rested the Oni Bane back on his shoulder and looked to Kamala on what to do.</p><p>                Like always, she took charge when Louis wasn’t around and stepped forward. “Hello there!” she called. “We don’t want to cause any trouble, just looking for something that’s missing. We’ll even clear out the Lost in the area as we go.”</p><p>                The boy took a few shaking steps forward, his eyes so wide that it looked like he was seeing a ghost. “It can’t be…”</p><p>                “Uh, are you okay?” She tilted her head slightly. “Yakumo, do we have any blood beads on us? I think he might be starving.”</p><p>                Yakumo looked through his pack. “Yeah, we have a couple.” He pulled one out.</p><p>                The boy ignored the blood bead, his focus entirely on Kamala. Now he was standing before them, his hands shaking. “It’s you…I can’t believe it, it’s you.”</p><p>                “Are you alright?” Kamala looked at him in concern.</p><p>                “I am now!”</p><p>                Before Yakumo or Kamala could respond, the boy put his arms around Kamala’s shoulders, drawing her in for a hug. She stiffened as he buried his head into her shoulder. “I can’t believe it,” he whispered.</p><p>                “Hey now,” growled Yakumo. He grabbed the boy roughly by the shoulder and pulled him away from Kamala, throwing the boy back with more force than necessary. As the boy stumbled back, Yakumo stood protectively in front of her.</p><p>                The boy looked at Yakumo in confusion and then at Kamala. “Kamala, what…it’s me, it’s Zane.”</p><p>                Yakumo looked back at Kamala who just shook her head. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t know who you are.”</p><p>                Zane’s eyes widen. “What, you don’t? But, we were, you… Kamala, this isn’t a funny joke.” He tried to step closer but Yakumo blocked his path. Zane looked up at Yakumo and then looked at her desperately. “You have to remember me, I mean you’re wearing the headphones I gave you.”</p><p>                Kamala’s hands went to the headphones around her neck. “You…you gave these to me?”</p><p>                Zane nodded vigorously. “Yeah, I gave them to you as a good luck charm. I collected headphones back when we were human and you always made fun of me for it, in an endearing way of course. I gave you my favorite pair,” he whispered.</p><p>                Yakumo felt a gentle touch on his arm and he looked down to see Kamala standing there, nodding to him. “Can you give us a few moments Yakumo?”</p><p>***</p><p>                Kamala could tell from the set of his shoulders, the last thing Yakumo wanted to do was let her talk with this Zane boy alone. However he did listen to her request and walked out of hearing range and kept an eye out for any Lost in the vicinity and probably keeping an eye on them.</p><p>                “So you know me?” she repeated numbly.</p><p>                Zane nodded and held out his hands. “May I?”</p><p>                Realizing he was asking for the headphones, she removed them from their usual spot around her neck and handed them over. She felt naked without them, the breeze tickling a spot on the back of her neck that was usually blocked by the headphones. However it did not feel wrong or odd to give the headphones to this boy. It felt right, familiar almost.</p><p>                “You really did a number on them. Do you wear these while fighting the Lost or something!?” He was examining them with a critical eye, turning them over and over in his hands.</p><p>                She didn’t know why but she felt ashamed of the fact. “Well, yes. It felt weird to not bring them with me.”</p><p>                He looked up at her in surprise. “Despite not remembering me, you still kept the headphones on you?” </p><p>                She took the headphones back and set them back around her neck. “It was one of the few things I had on me when I woke up without my memories. I knew it was important to me.”</p><p>                Zane smiled, his face lighting up in a way that could only be called cute. Kamala felt her heart thud louder in her chest. Why did this also feel so familiar? Why did she love seeing that face on him?</p><p>                “What do you know of me?” she asked. “I’m sorry, I don’t have any memories of when I was human.”</p><p>                Zane frowned. “How many times have you died Kamala to lose everything?”</p><p>                “Well, uh twice but the second was an…extreme situation. Anyway, please, can you tell me what you know? Please?”</p><p>                Zane put his hands in his pockets. “I don’t even know where to start, there’s so much. But we knew each other since we were children since our parents were friends. You were my…” His face flushed and he cleared his throat. “We were…together.”</p><p>                Together? She stared at him blankly. “Oh.”</p><p>                Zane awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, I mean, I guess it makes sense why you reacted the way you did since you didn’t know who I was. Sorry about that.”</p><p>                “No, it’s okay. It makes sense since you didn’t know.” She wrung her hands together.</p><p>                “Hey Kamala, I know you were chatting but we should probably head back soon.” Yakumo casually walked over, his sword resting on a shoulder. He eyed Zane before focusing on Kamala, his expression making it clear he was asking if she was okay.</p><p>                “Yeah we should before everyone starts worrying about us.” After a moment hesitation she gestured to Zane. “Yakumo, meet Zane, Zane, meet Yakumo.”</p><p>                “I have to thank you for watching out for Kamala,” said Zane with a nod. “I know she can be a bit reckless at times, probably even moreso now that she has a sharp sword to swing around.” He gave her a knowing look and Kamala couldn’t help but smile back, the gesture felt very familiar and home to her.</p><p>                “Well she does more for us than we do for her, that’s for sure,” said Yakumo.</p><p>                “That sounds like her,” Zane said with a smile. He looked at Kamala. “Perhaps we could…talk more? At a later time of course, you seem super busy.”</p><p>                “We can,” she said with a nod. “We have a base at the old church. The area is relatively safe from the Lost, we clear it out regularly.”</p><p>                “I know where that is.” Zane’s eyes widen.</p><p>                “What is it?” asked Kamala. Instinctively she had the feeling he was thinking something, whatever she had said was a revelation to him.</p><p>                “I think we have a lot to catch up on. Are you free tomorrow?”</p><p>                Kamala looked to Yakumo who  just shrugged. “Our schedule is pretty free now that we’re not doing…you know,” he said, glancing at Zane. “But I don’t think anyone would mind you taking a few days to yourself, you deserve it,” He ruffled her hair and Kamala gave his hand a playful smack in protest.</p><p>                “Stop that!” She rolled her eyes and focused on Zane. “Tomorrow then.”</p><p>                “That’s a promise,” he said with a smile.</p><p>***</p><p>                Yakumo had never seen Kamala so happy. For the past couple of days she spent her morning and sometimes part of the afternoon just talking with Zane. She would return from those talks super excited and she would tell anyone who would listen stories of what she was like before. It was fun to hear, Yakumo had to admit.</p><p>                Apparently Kamala had been a typical kid, growing up in a suburban neighborhood. She was a sporty kid, doing track, which made a lot of sense to Yakumo since she was always running here and there even now.</p><p>                However even Yakumo had to admit that one thing he didn’t like was how much she talked about Zane. Since he was the one telling her about the past, a lot of the stories had him in it. The way her eyes lit up when she spoke about him tugged at something in the pit of Yakumo’s stomach. Something he didn’t like.</p><p>                “Hey Yakumo, are we the only ones here today?” Kamala walked into the church, her smile bright like always recently.</p><p>                Yakumo looked over at her from the bar, nursing his drink. “Yeah, Karen and Aurora wanted us to help them out with something so Mia and Louis went to help her out. And I think Coco and Marasume are in the  hot spring.”</p><p>                “Gotcha.” She hopped up on the stool next to him. “It’s a little early to be drinking isn’t it?”</p><p>                Yakumo shrugged. “Had a good time today?”</p><p>                “I did! We talked a bit about high school. Apparently Zane got super sick during it and had to go to the hospital. The bills were getting too high since that was around the time Operation Queenslayer was going on and most of the doctors were busy with that.” She sheepishly rubbed the back of her head. “Apparently I signed up to fight against Cruz to help get money for Zane’s treatment. It was a good payout if you volunteered”</p><p>                “A good payout huh,” murmured Yakumo. The ice clinked in his glass as he stared at it.</p><p>                “Oh crap, I’m sorry Yakumo, I didn’t mean…”</p><p>                “It’s alright Kamala.” It wasn’t her fault that he was forced to fight because of Mido.  “Sounds like you have a better sense of yourself now.”</p><p>                “Yeah but at the same time it’s kind of weird to be honest. Because I’m learning about myself through someone else.”</p><p>                “Do you know if he’s telling the truth though?” He inwardly winced as his words came out harsher than he intended.</p><p>                “I think so?” She pushed a few strands of hair behind an ear. “It’s just the sense I’m getting but I know he’s telling the truth?” She put her hand over her heart. “It’s like I just know it’s true.”</p><p>                “Well that’s good then. I wouldn’t want him to be taking you on a wild ride.”</p><p>                “Taking me on a ride?” Kamala laughed and showed off her bicep. “You know, no one can take me anywhere I don’t want to go.”</p><p>                Yakumo chuckled. “Don’t I know it.” He was great in a fight but he knew he wasn’t on the same level as Kamala. He might be able to take the hits and dish out damage but her swings somehow were always stronger than his despite the smaller frame.</p><p>                He reached over and put an arm around her shoulders and gave her a side hug, noting that her body stiffened slightly from the touch before relaxing. There was a lot of that since she had met Zane. She still hugged him and kissed him but it would be after a moment hesitation, like she was fighting something inside herself.</p><p>                Was she and Zane?</p><p>                Did he really want to know the answer to that?</p><p>                “Yakumo, are you alright?”</p><p>                “Fine,” he said quickly. He downed the rest of his drink and stood. “I’m going to go out for a bit, going to do a run in the area to clear out any possible Lost.”</p><p>                “I’ll come with you.”</p><p>                “No,” he said quickly as she went to get off the stool. She looked at him in surprise. “It’s…it’s fine, I’ll take care of it myself. You relax.”</p><p>                “Are you sure?” she asked with a frown.</p><p>                “Yeah, I’m sure, I’ll see you later.” He saw the flash of disappointment cross her face but he turned away and went to get his Oni blade. He just needed to bash some heads in, maybe that would stop the turmoil seeping into his stomach.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>                “Can I ask you guys a question?” asked Kamala as she settled into the hot spring.</p><p>                “What is it?” asked Mia. She rested her elbows on the rocks on the edge of the spring and turned her head towards Kamala.</p><p>                Eva  sat on the other end and she smiled and nodded. “I assume this has something to do with Yakumo?”</p><p>                Kamala’s face flushed and she looked down at the warm water. “How did you guess?”</p><p>                Eva crossed her legs. “Just a feeling. Especially with how you two have been dancing around each other for the past couple of days.”</p><p>                “I’ve noticed that too,” commented Mia. “I mean it’s hard to keep anything really private around here in general to be honest. But before you two were so….clingy to each other? Is that the way to put it?”</p><p>                “Well they are a new couple after all,” chuckled Eva.</p><p>                Kamala gave Eva a deadpan look at the knowing glance.</p><p>                “So what’s going on with that anyway?” asked Mia.</p><p>                “I assume it has something to do with this Zane boy you have been spending time with?”</p><p>                Kamala had to sigh at Eva’s knowing look. Of course she couldn’t pull a fast one over Eva. She brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “Zane and I were together…back when we were human.”</p><p>                “Wait, like together, together?” Mia’s eyes widen.</p><p>                “Oh my. That does complicate things somewhat doesn’t it?” Eva rested a hand on her cheek.      </p><p>                “It’s weird. I know I’m with Yakumo and I care about him a lot but the more time I spend with Zane…” Kamala rested her head on her knees. “I don’t want to do that to him, Yakumo I mean,” she whispered. “I know he’s definitely picked up on it.”</p><p>                “Do you even have feelings for Zane right now or is it because he told you that you two were together?” asked Eva.</p><p>                “Honestly, I’m not sure. Maybe both? Like I’m so…comfortable around him. He knows so much about me and I know he’s telling the truth. But at the same time…I really do care for Yakumo but Yakumo knows the person I am now, not the person I was before.”</p><p>                “But aren’t you the same person?” asked Mia.</p><p>                Kamala shook her head. “Kind of but at the same time not really. The me of before was more carefree, reckless almost. I mean I am sort of like that now but…”</p><p>                “Surviving a war can change a person,” said Eva softly. “Especially someone in your position. We put a lot on your shoulders.”</p><p>                “So I’m not sure what to do right now. I don’t want to hurt Yakumo but my feelings are such a mess right now.”</p><p>                “Have a conversation with him,” said Eva with a smile.</p><p>                “I have to agree,” said Mia. “I mean I don’t know much about this kind of stuff but communication was always your strong suit.”</p><p>                “If you say so,” murmured Kamala.</p><p>                Eva got up and walked over to Kamala, reached over and grasped her hands. “Trust me, being able to communicate your feelings is the best gift of them all. He will listen.”</p><p>                Kamala really wished she was as confident about this as Eva was.</p><p>***</p><p>                “Yakumo, can we talk?”</p><p>                Yakumo looked up from the magazine. Kamala stood in front of him, her hands behind her back. She had obviously recently walked out of the hot spring, water clinging to the tips of her hair. “What’s up?”</p><p>                “I mean, can we talk outside. Like on a walk? Not too far though so I don’t think we’ll need our weapons.”</p><p>                Yakumo closed the magazine and tossed it on the table and followed her out of the church and onto the nearest pathway. Normally he would have held her hand at a time like things but things had been so weird between them. “What’s up Kamala?”</p><p>                She turned to him, her hands behind her back. “I know I haven’t been…around as often.”</p><p>                <em>Yeah, cause you’ve been spending all your time with Zane</em>. Out loud, he forced a small smile. “Well, you’ve been learning about the person you was from Zane. I get it. I mean, I spent time with Emily after we saved her and we spent a lot of talk talking about the past.” Although now that he was thinking it over, she had gotten very sad when he mentioned that he was dating Kamala. Weird.</p><p>                “Yakumo, I know I’m not being fair to you at all.”</p><p>                “I get it, it’s not a big deal Kamala.” <em>Yes it was.</em> “I mean based on all of the stories you told me, he is a very special childhood friend.” <em>A friend that you seem to like spending more time with than me</em>.</p><p>                She frowned as she regarded him. “Yakumo…”</p><p>                “Really, I get it Kamala.”</p><p>                She wrung her hands together and stared at the ground, kicking a pebble with her foot. “I didn’t want to keep meeting with him without telling you.” She bit her lip, her fangs poking out slightly. Yakumo would have normally found it cute if it wasn’t for the current circumstance. “Zane and I apparently were dating when we were human.”</p><p>                Yakumo froze for a moment and he struggled to maintain his composure, remembering the comment he made to her on the snowy hill. So the reason she was so experienced at kissing was because she had been with <em>him</em>? “So, how do you feel about him now?” he asked casually.</p><p>                Kamala put her arms around herself and shook her head. “I’m honestly not sure. I feel…something for him. That much I’m sure about. But we were childhood friends and I can sense a bond with him even now but I wouldn’t say I care for him like I do you Yakumo. The me that was with Zane is different than the me now. Oh, I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.” She sighed. “What I meant is that I’m trying to figure it out Yakumo and if you think it’s better for us to break up until I do figure it out-”</p><p>                “Whoa hang on, you want to break up?”</p><p>                “No, I don’t but…I know I haven’t been fair to you at all Yakumo. I’m not treating you like I did before but that’s just because I’m trying to figure out what is going on inside myself.”</p><p>                So that’s what was going on then. Yakumo rubbed the back of his neck.  What in the world was he supposed to say or do in this kind of situation? Was there even a right thing to say or do? So he went with the only option he had that had served him well, he listened to his gut instinct. “Take your time Kamala.” He reached over and gave her a side hug and planted a kiss on top of her head. “I know you are in a confusing place right now so I get that you need some space but remember that we’re all here to support you. This time please let us take on some of the burden okay?”</p><p>                She nodded and Yakumo felt a small thrill as she put her arm around his waist and rested her head against him. “Truthfully I want to be with you Yakumo. That’s what my head says, my heart, well that’s a bit confused right now.”</p><p>                 That meant he had to be winning right?</p><p>                He hated how that thought entered his mind. But maybe he should be grateful she was relying on him more, communicating her fears. There was none of that when they were dealing with the Successors. She had kept it all to herself and only Jack and Louis were able to pick up on something being wrong with her. Especially Jack since they had fought together before during Operation Queenslayer. </p><p>                He just hoped he wouldn’t regret this decision.</p><p>***</p><p>                “Kamala, are you feeling okay?”</p><p>                Kamala startled out of her thoughts and glanced at Zane. Like always they were taking a walk around the area. She always brought her sword with her, on the off chance there was a Lost nearby. Better safe than sorry, especially in Vein. Not like she was helpless without the sword. With her ability to change blood codes and her repertoire of dark gifts, she was still incredibly dangerous.</p><p>                “I’ve just been thinking a lot,” she admitted.</p><p>                “About?” he asked.</p><p>                “Everything really. Us, all these stories you’re telling me about me. It’s a lot to take in.”</p><p>                “I can see that. Especially since you’re a bit different now than how you were before.”</p><p>                He laughed at Kamala’s surprised look. “I’ve known you for years Kamala, I can read you pretty easily.” His expression softened and he smiled. “And I know that you’re with that red haired guy.”</p><p>                She almost tripped, her face flushing red. “Huh?”</p><p>                He chuckled. “It’s not that hard to figure out.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Even upon first meeting, it was obvious he was more to you than a friend.”</p><p>                Kamala winced and looked down. “I didn’t…I mean…”</p><p>                He put his hands in his pockets and gave her a small smile. “I know. And based on what you told me and what I already knew, I know you have been through a lot yourself.”</p><p>                “Wait what?”</p><p>                Zane gestured to the church. “There’s a lot of stories told about the people living in the church. Especially about one in particular who wears headphones and is able to decimate Lost  with a single swing. People talk Kamala and you’ve been helping fellow Revenants for a while now.” He shrugged and looked up at the clear sky. “Of course I thought it could possibly be you, what were the chances that someone named Kamala looked like you. However, what if it wasn’t? I never thought you would ever run into me though.</p><p>                “And perhaps I should not have said some of the things I did. Honestly, just us keeping a friendship is good enough for me if you want it, although I can tell you are getting confused and you’re probably estranged from that boyfriend of yours.”</p><p>                “How did?” She sighed. “Right, you know me that well. Damn, it’s real annoying that I can’t hide anything from you.”</p><p>                “I used to not be able to hide anything from you either.” He looked at her sadly. “It is obvious I don’t know you as well as I used to though.” He gestured to his eyes. “You have a look there now that wasn’t there before. I’ve tried to ignore it but…” He shrugged.</p><p>                “I…” Kamala shook her head. “You’ve given me a lot to think about,” she admitted.</p><p>                “Well I was always the thinker between us two.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “And you were always looking out for me back when we were kids so maybe this time I’ll be able to help you.” He gave her a quick hug and a quick peck on the forehead. “I know you have crazy adventures that need to be done but you’ve been spending the time talking to me. Go.”</p><p>                She stared at him in disbelief. “Zane…I…”</p><p>                “It’s okay Kamala, really. You can visit me if you need to. Vein is a lot safer now after all. Especially thanks to you.”</p><p>                “I’m sorry Zane,” she whispered.</p><p>                “Don’t be.” He smiled. “I’m happy you are living for yourself for once.” He gave her a small push on the shoulders. “Well, go on then. Have your crazy adventures. You better visit me every week or so for updates though, okay?”</p><p>                Kamala chuckled. “Of course.”</p><p>***</p><p>                Yakumo was sitting on the couch, sketching a new DIY project for the church. Since they were in the good side of the government they had access to some more supplies so he wanted to build another bedroom in the back of the church. They didn’t need to sleep but having more sleeping quarters would be nice.</p><p>                “Hey Yakumo.”</p><p>                He looked up. “Kamala.” He cleared his throat. “So, uh, how’d it go?”</p><p>                “Well I would say. We talked a bit. He helped me come to a decision on…everything.”</p><p>                “Which is?” Yakumo’s grip tightened around his pen.</p><p>                She gave him a small smile before gently putting her arms around him. “I chose you Yakumo,” she whispered softly.</p><p>                “You’re not forcing yourself right?” Idiot, why would he say that?</p><p>                “No, I’m not. The me that was with him is different than the person I am now.  Yakumo, you know who I am right now.” She let him go and slipped the headphones off from around her neck. “I should probably give this back to him.”</p><p>                “Hey now, are you sure about that? Those headphones were really important to you. And even though the two of you aren’t together, that’s still an important part of you right?”</p><p>                “It is but I think I’ll be fine without them. I know what they mean after all and I think I’m ready to let them go. I got the answers I wanted, it’s unfortunate I couldn’t get the memories myself but that was super unlikely anyway.” She rested the headphones gently on the coffee table before slapping her cheeks a few time and then sitting on the couch next to the armchair he was sitting on. “If you don’t mind, can I hear a little bit about your newest project?”</p><p>                “Of course,” said Yakumo with a smile. It might take some getting used to but he had a feeling they were going to be okay.</p><p>               </p>
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